Tuesday, January 6, 2015

How am I going to do this?

Soooo.... Trying to get healthy would be best done with a plan, right?  Yeah, I think so too. I have an idea of a plan, but no real plan. I more have some do's and don't's that I'd like to stick to. Like:

- No sugar!
- No white flour!
- No artifical sweetener! (except Truvia...for now)

- YES! to vegetables!
- YES! to fruit!
- YES! to whole grains!
- YES! to fiber!
- YES! to healthy meat!

Here is what I did yesterday. I ate amazingly well all day! I even took a picture of me eating my amazing salad and sent it to my husband. I was feeling soooo good. And then. And then.

And then I left work and the next thing I knew I was buying a Baby Ruth candy bar at Walmart. Check outs have always been a trigger for me. I'll grab a Snickers or whatever. Or at grocery stores, I'll grab a donut or muffin.

So I got the Baby Ruth. Did I beat myself up for it? No. I looked at it as a small setback. Not that big of a deal. This does not define me.


Until I then drove into the McDonald's drive thru and ordered TWO LARGE FRIES. Not one. Two. LARGE.

So there will be obstacles. I know that my brain needs more work than anything else and that is what I will focus on. Get my head straight and everything else will follow.

Yesterday afternoon did start a landslide off into an unhealthy chain reaction. I ate nothing else for the rest of the day and today I've been right on track.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Here we go...

So today is officially the first day of this thing called being healthy. I did well over the weekend, but now that I'm back to work and routine, I can really focus on what I need to do. Why health? Why now? There are lots of reasons...allow me to share.

1. I'm the heaviest I've ever been (aside from month 9 of my pregnancy). My issue with weight has been practically life-long. I've had years (looooong ago!) of being thinnish, but have always ended up back on the not-so-thinish side of things. There is much more to say on this issue, but I'll save that for another day when I feel more like delving into the layers of issues this brings up for me.

2. I am on the cusp on having serious liver disease. I was diagnosed with a "fatty liver" while pregnant in 2010. Shall we stop for a moment and let that term sit with us for a second. Fatty liver. It is exactly what it sounds like. There's a ton of fat all over my liver. This causes my liver to work harder to remove toxins from my body because it has to get those toxins through fat layers in order to do it. If I don't do something about this, the fattiest part of my liver could die. That's called cirrhosis (the non-alchoholic kind). The doctor said these words to me "This will kill you; you will die young." Motivation enough for me? You'd think...

3. I'm pre-diabetic. My sugar hasn't been checked in a while, so sometimes I just assume I've crossed that line and am now actually diabetic. I can tell that I have blood sugar swings and staying on top of that makes a huge difference. Diabetes sucks. I had gestational diabetes and gave myself injections 4 times a day. Not to mention the finger pricks to check levels. I don't want that on a permanent level.

4. I have the sweetest baby girl on the planet. Ok, she's 4. Not quite a baby anymore. She sees everything I do, including everything that I eat. She is forming her thoughts and habits about food as I write this. I need her to leave my food issues in the past. Luckily she loves healthy food. She is an example for me. I need to be an example for her.

Sooooo....you'd think that all of that would be more than enough motivation to eat healthy, right? I wish. I mean I am there. I am ready. But it wasn't easy to get to this place and I'm worried that I won't be here for long.

That's where my blog comes in. I figure that if I document this journey and put it all out there, I will continuously reinforce my efforts and stay forcussed on the mission. I'm considering putting it ALL out there and posting my daily weigh-ins, but that may be too brave for even me. I'll tell people what I weigh, but I just don't want them to fall of their chair when they hear the number. For some reason, people think girls can't weigh that much. It's funny. My husband knows. A couple close friends know. And let me just put this out there - I weight MORE than my husband. My muscular, working out, running all the time, former linebacker husband. He knows this. He loves me. For that I am grateful. But it's getting old and momma needs to get on track!

So, here I go. I'm not exactly sure how I'll arrive at my goal (to lose 50 pounds in 2015), but the one thing I know is that I WILL. That will put at wedding weight (and I wasn't a skinny bride) and that will be amazing!!!

As for you, dear reader, I would appreciate any encouragement and support you are willing to give me. Thank you in advance for putting up with my craziness.